Pain Is Not the Enemy—It’s a Guest

For many living with chronic pain, it can feel like pain is the enemy. It shows up uninvited, disrupts your day, limits your movement, and whispers doubts into your mind. It becomes a story of frustration, fear, and limitation. But what if that story could shift? What if, instead of treating pain like an enemy, we began seeing it as a guest?

This mindset shift isn’t just fluffy psychology — it’s a doorway into real, lasting change. Because your brain and body are always talking. And when the brain believes there’s danger, it turns up the volume on pain to protect you. Pain is often not a sign of damage; it’s a signal of perceived threat. And that perception is something we can begin to shift.

Here’s what most people don’t realize: pain isn’t just a sensation. It’s a sensation layered with meaning. That meaning is the story your brain tells itself. And that story is shaped by the words you use. Think about it. If you call pain your "enemy," what does your body do? It tightens, it fights, it flinches. Your nervous system locks into threat mode: fight, flight, or freeze.

Let’s unpack those modes:

These responses are normal. They’re human. But they don’t lead to healing.

There is a fourth state your body can enter: Flow. It’s calm, curious, and compassionate. It’s the parasympathetic state where healing occurs. And it only activates when your body feels safe.

So how do we create that safety?

Words.

Let’s try this: What if you called pain a guest? Not a friend, not a roommate — just a guest. Maybe uninvited, maybe irritating, but a guest nonetheless. When a guest shows up, you don’t fight them. You acknowledge them. You ask, "Why are you here? What do you need?" You stay curious. And curiosity dissolves fear.

From this foundation, we can start using movement to shift the story. Here are three practical techniques that help rewire your relationship with pain, especially during movement routines:

This is great for static holds like wall sits.

Words signal safety. Safety dials down pain.

When your brain says, "This is too much," flip it in real time:

Your brain may resist at first. That’s okay. You’re building a new pathway. Like that ultra-marathon story I shared in the workshop — at mile 37, when everything screamed “quit,” I flipped the story. I wasn’t done. I was just scared. That flip got me to the finish line.

Pain can become the only thing you focus on. This technique reminds you there’s more going on.

This balances your awareness. It reminds your brain there is more than just the threat.

None of this is about gaslighting your experience. It’s not about pretending pain isn’t real. It’s about giving yourself more choices in how you respond. It’s about interrupting the cycle of fear, tension, and avoidance.

Your body isn’t broken. It’s adapting.

These mindset shifts don’t replace physical healing work. They enhance it. We still have to realign joints, improve muscle-to-nerve communication, and balance movement. But when your nervous system feels safe, those physical changes can finally take root.

So pick one technique. Try it during your next routine. You don’t need to believe it 100% at first. Just practice. Because the more you practice, the more your story shifts. And that’s where healing lives.

You are not your pain. You are the space that can hold it with wisdom.

Let pain be a guest.

And eventually, it will leave.

You’ve got this.